Cherish every minute together

Mom, if you are reading this, you will probably want to grab a tissue, I'm talking about grandparents today.

Yesterday afternoon (Sunday, August 12), my wife's grandma passed away. Even though it was somewhat expected, it is always hard once it actually happens. I find comfort in that she is in heaven probably telling someone there about her past cruises :-) Her passing made me think about my own grandparents' passing.

First, Pawpaw (my grandpa) passed away in September 2006. My favorite memory of him involved a "bender-back" sandwich. Sometimes in kindergarten, Pawpaw would pick me up if my mom couldn't make it. He would often make me lunch, but this day would go down in history. He made me a bender-back...for those of you who don't know, a bender-back is a sandwich made on one piece of bread, folded over. Growing up, I had only seen a sandwich with two piece of bread. Looking back, I can see that I was a dumb kid that thought it would taste differently. After I complained to him, he told me, "Shut up, and eat it." While that may seem harsh to the modern parent, it was just what I needed. I needed to be verbally-slapped so I could see that it was a dang sandwich...get over yourself kiddo! Maybe I am making too much of it, but that is one of the few vivid memories I have from my childhood. To this day, I remember where I was sitting in their kitchen that afternoon. I don't remember if the sandwich tasted better or worse than other sandwiches I've had, but that was the most memorable, lesson-filled sandwich of my life.

His passing was somewhat sudden. It seemed as if in a month or so, he was gone. Pawpaw used to smoke, but he gave up the habit later in his life. As he got older, he had to use oxygen tanks in order to breathe. He also developed emphysema. If you want to know how emphysema feels, take a huge deep breath in and hold it for couple seconds. After those couple seconds, try to breathe in more air. Pretty hard, huh? I can't imagine dealing with every minute of every day. Pawpaw passed away in mid-September 2006. I took his death very hard. It was so sudden. I began to question if staying in college was best or if I needed to wait. I came to the conclusion that he would have wanted me to stay in college and pursue my degree.

Granny (my grandma) was a fantastic lady. Josh (my brother) and I knew that if we wanted some scrambled eggs, to play a game of Wahoo, or a back-scratching we could go to Granny. One vivid memory I have of her comes from a family road trip to Canada. While Pawpaw, Mom, and Josh went to have crab legs (I think) at a local park in Oregon, Granny and I stayed at the hotel (or cabin, inn, etc) and ate McDonald's. We ate by the window and just watched the ocean, hoping to see a whale. Nothing transcendent happened, just a great time spent with Granny.

I'm not exactly sure when, but my grandma experienced a stroke when I was between 10-15 years old. I remember her asking me why I had jumped up on the wall the night before and stuck there. While I may have chuckled when she asked me, I began to realize that her mind was fleeting. After she had the stroke, she started to regain her memory. Later in her life, she began to develop something similar to Alzheimer's, if not Alzheimer's itself. It was hard to sit in the room and wonder if she knew who we were. The lady who had given us countless back-scratches may not know our names. I'd like to say her passing was easier, but no death is easy. It was more gradual than Pawpaw. It was not as sudden. If I remember correctly, on the one year anniversary of Pawpaw's death, she stopped eating. In mid-September 2007, Granny passed away. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't immediately drive home from school. I had a paper/exam that week and I guess I was in denial. After I heard, I had to get away from people and be alone. I walked around campus for a while thinking about what just happened.

The same night she passed away, I had sent a few Facebook messages to a beautiful, blonde in the TCU band, Christine Schwaebler. Needless to say, Septembers have had profound affects, good and not-so-good, on my life.

You are never really appreciative of your grandparents until they are gone. So, to those of you who have grandparents, or if your parents are now grandparents, do what you can to spend time together. Even if you have personal struggles with your own parents, do not force your children to fight your battles, let them get to know their grandparents. They are a great source of love, wisdom, and care. Cherish every minute together.

Dream high, but plan ahead

This post will stray from my thankfulness.  I am aiming to help my younger friends and family.

I don't like to live and dwell on "what-ifs," but in this case I make an exception.  If I could go back and change my college major, I probably would.  However, if I was able to change that, I would not be the person that I am.  While I may think, "Whoa is me," I am very lucky to be in the condition that I am.

For those that don't know, I was a history major and religion minor in my undergrad studies.  I was and am very interested in those topics, but I wish I had realized that job opportunities are limited.  Sure, I could and may become a teacher of history.  I am not blaming my college in anyway and it is ultimately my decision, but I wish they would encourage us to think about our future job opportunities.  Yes, my college has a great Career Center that works with students, but I think they fall into the category of "not wanting to crush a student's dream."  I seemed to understand the school's message to be that we should follow our dreams.

It is difficult to see hundreds of jobs only for business majors (accounting, marketing, finance, supply chain, etc...) and very, very few for the liberal arts.  Even though there are very few obvious career paths that lead from a liberal arts degree (teacher, "further education," writer, ...), there is value in what can be learned.  An eye for details and an ability to pare down "the fluff" and get to the point are both priceless skills.  However, I never see those in the "Qualifications" section of job listings.  I see "1-3 years of ________experience needed."  Hey, how come ENTRY-level jobs require experience....something isn't right there.  (Sorry, that was a side-note.)

I think of myself as being primarily a realist.  Optimists see me as a pessimist and pessimists think I am wasting my time.  I hope and pray for the best, but I do my best to prepare for the worst.  I would rather someone tell me that I am fat or annoying than "husky" or "opinionated."  I wish that someone would have told me early on in my college career that I do need to follow my dreams, but pursue what is realistic and sensible.

All this to say...dream high, but plan ahead.

I hope this helps someone.

So, it has definitely been a while since my last post.  First, school took up a considerable amount of my time. Secondly, I just got married to my beautiful best friend and she kind of takes precedence.  Third, I forgot.  Thanks to Taylor, I remembered about my profile and decided to put something together.

Looking back at the past few months, I realize just how blessed I really am.  On June 9, my wife and I were united forever.  She is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I cannot put my feelings into words on here, in my head, or even to her.  She knows and I know, but we just can't put those feelings into words.  Also, I realize how blessed I after thinking about all those who have supported us in anyway.  I was extremely happy to see so many friends and family at the weddings.  I also am very thankful for those that were not able to make it, but kept us in their prayers and supported us in their thoughts.

At the beginning of July, Christine and I decided to add a member to our family...a puppy!

His name is Duke and he is just about 4 months old.  We know he is mainly a Lab, but there may be another breed mixed in.

Side-note: Anyone else see the yellow (or maybe green) and purple plaid suit-jacket that Coach Patterson had on at the press conference?  Coach is looking pretty fly for a white guy!

I think I am writing these blogs for myself as well as for those who may need a little day-brightening.  I've found that it can sometimes be therapeutic to get thoughts out of your head.   Also, I will continue to try to keep things light for those that need their smile for the day.

I would like to thank you for reading and I hope you come back soon!

jake